Mental Illness Doesn’t Always Look Like Suicide

Mental Illness Doesn’t Always Look Like Suicide

*Trigger warning: This post discusses difficult topics like drugs, alcohol, suicide, and self-harm.*

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Everyone has mental health. Just like we have physical health, like bone health and cardiovascular health, we have mental health.

Poor mental health runs in my family just like cancer, diabetes, or heart disease can run in one’s family. From the outside, that may not seem apparent. No one in my family has ever lost their battle with mental illness by suicide – at least none that we know of in recent generations. But plenty of people in my family have battled mental illness with food, drugs, alcohol, and work. As a result, many have died prematurely from heart attacks, complications from obesity, type 2 diabetes, stress, cancer, and what we like to call “hard living”.

We don’t talk about these things like mental health issues. We don’t say, “Oh, she really really struggled with mental illness, which ultimately took her life.” No, we don’t say that. We say, “Oh, she struggled with obesity her whole life, which led to a life-ending heart attack at age 60.” But what really happened is, she lived a hard life because she was raised feeling unworthy, which caused her mental health to break down. And because we don’t talk about the hard things in our life – the mistakes, broken dreams, the painful things done to us, and our lack of love for ourselves – it grows like a cancer inside of us. And because there’s a stigma around getting real help from therapy or just saying, “I’m not okay”, we medicate.

Food makes us feel better. Alcohol and drugs dull everything around us – the bad stuff and the good stuff. Work helps us ignore it. These medications aren’t initially seen as an issue because they are the things we would do in a healthy life too. No stigma.

We have to eat and work. These are essentials in our lives, so they can’t be that bad. Alcohol is something we use to socialize or unwind on occasion, but it’s not used every day or all day for the average person. They are socially acceptable.

But, the truth is, I come from a long line of people who use these things to feel better when our mental health is suffering. If left unchecked, we use them to the point of addiction – to the point of abuse. And I’m not alone.

Remember, mental illness doesn’t always mean suicide or self-harm. It’s not always that final or that obvious. In fact, it almost never starts there. It starts somewhere much smaller and less defined – in the gray areas.

This is why self-love is so important. You cannot pour from an empty cup. You must love yourself and take care of yourself. Take time for you. Take a walk, a bubble bath, a nap, a yoga class. Meditate, read, write. Visit a friend, take yourself out for coffee. Take a mental health day or a whole weekend! Tell people no.

And – encourage this behavior in others. Give people permission to tell you no, or to take a day off. Give them permission to have bad days and love them anyway.

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Let’s be advocates for self-love: for ourselves and for others.

How are you going to practice self-care this week? Let me know in the comments!

 

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Wine: The Best Grapes Grow in the Rockiest Soil

Wine: The Best Grapes Grow in the Rockiest Soil

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A friend and I were recently talking and he asked me if I liked wine and I just looked at him. Yeah. Hi, my name is Morgan and I love wine. He laughed and asked if I knew that the best grapes for wine are grown in the rockiest soil. No, I did not know that.

He went on to tell me that Riesling grapes grow the best in the rockiest soil. Their roots have to grow very deep to find the nutrients needed to withstand the elements. So the roots of these vines grow deep and strong, and the result is producing the sweetest grape – perfect for wine.

What a beautiful metaphor for life. The sweetest moments in life are often born from the most barren situations or seasons. Those barren areas of our lives cause us to really dig deep for the good stuff – for the sustenance to keep going. We really have to be intentional about finding the good things during those times.

Often times, when we look back at the rocky times in our lives, we are able to see the difficulties in it all but the good parts shine brighter and taste a bit sweeter. Those good moments, like a refreshing sip of water, highlight our journey and give us the strength to keep moving forward.

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Sometimes our best fruit comes out of those rocky seasons. Whether it’s in losing a job so you can pursue what you truly love. Or losing a relationship so you find your true partner in life. Or receiving a blessing you can’t explain or didn’t earn – having a debt paid unexpectedly, or someone buying your dinner, or something beautiful being gifted to you.

Most importantly, though, the rocky soil in our life becomes a breeding ground for growth, truth, and life. We become the best versions of ourselves if we stay resilient and dig deep.

If you’re going through a rocky time in life, or maybe it’s just been a rocky life, and everything seems dead and barren, dig deep and find the good stuff. Dig deep and find gratitude for what is coming. Dig deep and be excited to know that the best grapes grow out of the rockiest soil.

Tonight I Told Myself To Blog

Several months ago when I was being disciplined in something.

Tonight I told myself to blog, yet I don’t feel like I have anything profound to say. This is odd for a couple reasons. First, if you asked my mother (or my boyfriend, for that matter), they would tell you that I have something to say about everything. Second, they are right.

While I have plenty to say about most anything, I’m really bad at blogging. If I’m being honest, and I am, I’m not that good at consistently doing anything — besides eating. I never forget to eat. I like to tell myself that everyone has this problem. Everyone struggles with consistency and being on top of things, which may be true to some extent. But I know there are people out there with so much more discipline than I have.

If I were to ask someone with incredible discipline, I’m 99% sure they would say they learned discipline by being relentless and driven and doing (fill in the blank) even when they didn’t feel like it. Don’t get me wrong. There is a small percentage of the population where discipline was started young and comes much more naturally. For most of us, though, it takes work. It takes day-by-day, week-by-week, month-by-month work. You have to schedule it. Reschedule it. Break it down into small chunks. Reschedule it again. And give yourself a lot of grace– but not too much grace. We don’t want to get complacent.

So here’s what I know – discipline takes time and repetition. It takes action, big or small. It takes guts. I also know when you do something you’ve committed to, your self-confidence increases and you’re more likely to do it again the next time. And tonight I told myself to blog, and I did.

Everyone Needs a Cheerleader

I am a cheerleader. I love to encourage people and tell them how much God has in store for them. It’s one of my favorite things to do. I do it because I know it’s true. We are all able to do amazing, extraordinary things.
So many of us, though, have been told otherwise. Life has beaten us down. We have been dragged through the mud. We are beaten and bruised.
I am here to tell you that God loves you and you are designed for greatness.
We have all been hurt. And sometimes we hurt others because we are hurting. Don’t let your hurt define you. Rise above it and do your best to not hurt others because of your hurt. That being said, we have all hurt others because we are hurting. Intentional or not. It’s okay. Apologize, forgive yourself, and move forward.

Everyone needs a cheerleader – even us cheerleaders. Be someone’s cheerleader today. It can change someone’s day – or their life.

Xoxo