Floor of Failure

*This is a repost from a blog I had in 2012. It feels as real today as it did then.

Sometimes I look in the mirror

and you rear your ugly head

I try to pretend you aren’t there

that you don’t exist

Then I trip and fall flat on my face

You are ever-so present

and all I want to do is cry

give up and lie

on the floor of failure

Tonight I’m facing this

monster that paralyzes me

with fear with invisible power

I can’t put my finger on it

The intangible terror is

dancing with you in

my head

My mouth is dry and my

words are gone

What you don’t know, though

is that I just took my

first step

to no longer being under

your thumb.

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Wine: The Best Grapes Grow in the Rockiest Soil

Wine: The Best Grapes Grow in the Rockiest Soil

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A friend and I were recently talking and he asked me if I liked wine and I just looked at him. Yeah. Hi, my name is Morgan and I love wine. He laughed and asked if I knew that the best grapes for wine are grown in the rockiest soil. No, I did not know that.

He went on to tell me that Riesling grapes grow the best in the rockiest soil. Their roots have to grow very deep to find the nutrients needed to withstand the elements. So the roots of these vines grow deep and strong, and the result is producing the sweetest grape – perfect for wine.

What a beautiful metaphor for life. The sweetest moments in life are often born from the most barren situations or seasons. Those barren areas of our lives cause us to really dig deep for the good stuff – for the sustenance to keep going. We really have to be intentional about finding the good things during those times.

Often times, when we look back at the rocky times in our lives, we are able to see the difficulties in it all but the good parts shine brighter and taste a bit sweeter. Those good moments, like a refreshing sip of water, highlight our journey and give us the strength to keep moving forward.

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Sometimes our best fruit comes out of those rocky seasons. Whether it’s in losing a job so you can pursue what you truly love. Or losing a relationship so you find your true partner in life. Or receiving a blessing you can’t explain or didn’t earn – having a debt paid unexpectedly, or someone buying your dinner, or something beautiful being gifted to you.

Most importantly, though, the rocky soil in our life becomes a breeding ground for growth, truth, and life. We become the best versions of ourselves if we stay resilient and dig deep.

If you’re going through a rocky time in life, or maybe it’s just been a rocky life, and everything seems dead and barren, dig deep and find the good stuff. Dig deep and find gratitude for what is coming. Dig deep and be excited to know that the best grapes grow out of the rockiest soil.

The Beautiful Winds of Change

On the slick drive from the chiropractor tonight, I decided to take the back way home because the roads are usually not as slick in bad weather on these roads. Another reason I love this way home is because of this spot on the highway that passes right along the shore of Lake Winnebago. There’s about a quarter of a mile that hugs right up alongside the shore and one particular place where the trees open up enough to see a clear view of the lake.

This view is always gorgeous and always different. Every single day the view is different. The sun is shining, or it’s not. The water is a blue color, or green, or gray. There are whitecaps on the water or it’s completely frozen over, like today. As I was driving along, a truck was coming from the other direction and behind it followed a cloud of snow. This reminded of something that happens on the lake every year, twice a year – the hatching of lake flies. At the peak of the hatching, the flies swarm just like that cloud snow behind the truck. So thick, you almost can’t see through them. It brought me back to summer for a moment…

Anyway, I digress…. change…

This ride home always reminds me that everything is in a constant state of change and that change is beautiful. It may not seem beautiful at first. It may seem scary or uncertain, but a slight change in lighting or a twist in the breeze and it’s something utterly breathtaking. It’s all about your reaction and perception. The sun still exists on the other side of the clouds.

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A photo I took during one of the hardest times of change in my life. One of the most beautiful times, as well. (c.2015)

Fighting change will never go well, because everything must change. Tomorrow can never be exactly like today. Learn and grow from today so tomorrow is better than today. When I look back at my hardest times – the times that really challenged me and pushed me to my edge – those were the times I grew the most. Those are the times where I learned the most about myself, learned more about God and His mercies, and learned the art of not just surviving, but of thriving.

Today, if you are struggling through a change, know that you are not alone. Take the time to reflect, meditate, write, read, pray, observe. Do whatever you can to let this time grow you, mold you, and teach you. It will be worth it. It will get better. And hopefully one day you can look back and see the beauty of it all.